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Archive for February, 2013

So I am having Oatmeal for lunch because my lunch I made the night before did not taste good.  Very weird.

Oatmeal is not a bad lunch, but I’m grateful I didn’t choose to have it for breakfast this morning because that would have been a bit weird.  My stomach has been off and on feeling uncomfortable.  Also weird.  It’s been a weird twenty-four hours.  I say twenty-four hours because yesterday afternoon, my stomach started feeling all strange, out of sorts.  And today I feel a little weird too.  Ever since this stomach bug my digestive system has been on the fritz! And I had a weird dream last night.  (not about stomachs or bugs, but honestly, it was WEIRD.)

Okay, now I’m being ridiculously silly.

I do have a tendency to be silly, but I blame this on my upbringing of Star Wars, Muppet-related shows, and in later teen years, Monty Python.  The truth is, life happens, and we need to occasionally be silly in order to survive through difficult times.  I have learned from personal experience, that too much anger, sadness or seriousness lead to stomach problems.  (See above) and other common health concerns, i.e. anxiety, depression, etc.

“But I thought you had a stomach bug!” You say, to yourself as your reading this blog.

Yes, initially I did have the stomach flu last week, but having an underlying problem with IBS (officially diagnosed in 2011) is as a result of stress since I was a teenager.  Moral of the story?  Stop stressing yourself out, and if you feel like you can’t, look to the people around you.

People around you should stop stressing you and other people out, and making them feel like they have to please in order to succeed and feel loved.  Sure, leaving good impressions and doing well at work is important.  But why should a person have to question whether they are loved? Or appreciated?  Why should we have to feel like our parents love us less because of a C- we got on an assignment.  That seems to be a no-brainer answer to me, but so many people want to harm their children by pasting preconceived notions and expectations on them.

After that, many are convinced they have to please and live life to please others rather than taking care of themselves.  Usually that causes you to feel empty and alone after a time.  Sure, you feel happy that you helped for a time.  But then you say to yourself after the fact, sure that was awesome, but why do I feel so exhausted, and why do I feel unhappy?

Am I discouraging people from helping others? Absolutely not.  Do I think we need to care a little more about our personal happiness? From someone who spent a good portion of her life focusing on making others happy, I am definitely exhausted.  It’s important to help others, but if you have not helped yourself first, how will you be of full service to others who may need you?

Still not convinced? Check out this article:

http://feedblitz.com/f/?fblike=http%3a%2f%2ftinybuddha.com%2fblog%2f3-tips-to-escape-the-perfectionism-trap-and-feel-good-enough%2f

a good piece of writing that further explains the perspective of my blog post…

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A Snowy Saturday Morning!

And so our first official New England Blizzard has hit us, and they named it “Nemo” —either after Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, or from the awesome Pixar Film about a clown fish, also named Nemo.  As an English major, I’m sure there are other literary references I should be aware of, but I’m a bit tired, haven’t been sleeping well and am finally feeling somewhat normal after a stomach bug hit me early in the wee hours of Thursday morning. 

Who needs a body cleanse when you can get a stomach bug? Bad joke, I know, but since I’m the butt of it, it’s okay, I think.  😛

So aside from gross topics like stomach bugs, this storm stopped a few of my plans in their tracks.  I was super excited to give my sweetie his Valentine’s gift.  (He was supposed to come up this weekend) The combination of the storm and my illness and the fact that he was recovering from a cold that he still hadn’t entirely kicked, made him feel it wasn’t the best time to come up.  I totally understood, I wouldn’t have wanted my stomach bug either, and I really didn’t want his cold, and to be honest, I would have worried most if he had driven up in this mess, but it didn’t make me miss him any less.  I had a few pouty hours Thursday night and Friday morning, but I knew it was partly me being physically sick that wasn’t helping.  Cest la vie, I think they say in France, but forgive me for not having the accents…I took five years of German.

Sooo work was cancelled due to the awful mess that Nemo made, or was planning to make, it wasn’t totally a blizzard till Friday afternoon, and to be honest, I was grateful to have the extra day to recover.  I don’t think if I had had to wait to use the bathroom at work, that it would have been pretty.  Sure, you might laugh, but we all know how stomach bugs work.  They aren’t fun and nobody ever wants to clean up bodily fluids, even their own. 

Okay, I really have to get off the topic of stomach bugs, but yes, yesterday, I felt much better and today I am feeling even more like myself, however my sleep patterns have worsened.  I tend to sleep 3-4 hours, wake up, and have the darndest time falling back to sleep.  When I finally do, usually it’s time to get up for work.  Luckily, today is a snowy Saturday, so I am quite happy not to have to go to work as I don’t think I would be pleasant with this lack of sleep. 

It’s odd, with this continuous lack of sleep, I have had the bizarre gift of remembering a large portion of my dreams most nights.  Except the night of the stomach bug, for obvious reasons, and as the weeks passed, the dreams got progressively stranger.  Some reflected fears of things I have in real life, like spiders, which also tend to recur in my dreams anyway, but others were of weddings, one seemed to be of a past life, and I even was talking to a parent on the phone in my latest dream.  They were upset about something, not sure what.  And I had a difficult time answering their question.  It was like I was half present in the dream, and half not.  The “half not” part, was probably my brain anticipating my alarm.  Good logic.  It was.  Not a moment later, the Marimba ringtone from my iPod danced me to a waking state. 

I’m so smaaawwwt! as they’d say in Boston.  It’s okay, I can make fun of Bostonians, as I’m from Massachusetts, grew up in a Massachusetts public school system, and now date a wonderful man who says “draws” instead of “drawers”.  Really, it’s perfectly fine, and I’m sure I’ll pay for it later.  He’ll tickle me till I beg for mercy…or something.

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